Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Caroline's Story

A couple of weeks have passed and I still haven't had the chance to sit and write down Caroline's birth story. Something about being the second born and Mama slacking...either way I still love her so much and I want to remember every detail of her birth day. So here it goes...

Forty weeks had come and gone, just like I knew it would. I had started feeling anxious about labor starting, because I knew summer was almost over and Brett's school year/football season would be in full force in no time. There was no chance he'd miss the birth, really. I just really wanted him to have a few days home with us to get to know our baby and to help me as I recovered, and I knew that window of time was fleeting. I continued to pray that she would come on her own, and that regardless, God would fill us with peace in knowing that our baby was in His hands and that he/she would come at the perfect time.

Backing up for a minute. At 39 weeks, I had gone to my doctor for my weekly check up. At that time, I was barely 1cm dilated and 0% effaced. Baby sounded great, and my doctor told me that if I was induced at that time (which I didn't want to be) that it likely would be unsuccessful because my body was showing no signs of being ready. 

And back to 40 weeks. Going in for my appointment, I knew my doctor would mention induction because he doesn't like to let his patients go past 41 weeks, so he would make mention of it and I could do what I wanted with it, Again, I was nervous about getting induced because of my fear of a repeat spinal headache from the epidural. My goal was to go without the epidural so that the chance of a spinal headache would not exist, in hopes for a much better and faster recovery. I knew that entering pitocin into the mix would make an epidural-free labor much more difficult.

Anyway, at my 40 week appointment, my doctor informed me that I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. I was encouraged by my body's progress and a little more open to the idea of being induced, having high hopes of it being successful. With Levi, I went from 1cm to 10cm in just 5 hours, so I also had hopes of this labor being even faster. So after talking to my doctor, we decided that a couple of nights later, I would go in to be induced if I hadn't gone into labor on my own yet. That would still give me a chance to start labor on my own, but also give Brett a chance to have time with us before the craziness of fall began.

On a Wednesday night, I went in to begin cervadil. That day I had been having lots of signs that labor was near, including a few random stronger contractions (side-note: from this side of labor, I laugh at my use of the word "stronger.") I felt confident that the induction would go well. That night Brett and I spent the evening watching Big Bang Theory and eating a bunch of food. The calm before the storm. 

Thursday morning (our 4 year anniversary), we were about to begin pitocin. I made it to 3cm and was more effaced, so while I was waiting for them to begin the pit, I took a hot shower and tried to ease the tension in my back during contractions. I had heard such horrible things about back labor and had a feeling throughout the whole pregnancy that I would have back labor, due to how baby was positioned. While in the shower, it started to hit me that back labor had begun and I had a bit of anxiety. When I got out, I started my playlist on my iPad and prayed throughout the worship songs that God would just give me peace and be my strength. And then began the pit at 9:30am.

The nurse kept asking about how I was managing my pain. I remember thinking that she seemed concerned then pleasantly surprised that I was doing ok. I felt like maybe I had been overly worried about the intensity of labor. HA! After about an hour, things started getting more intense. I had reached 5 cm and had my water break. My water was clear this time, which was a huge answer to prayer. After that, it seemed all hell broke lose.

I started throwing up from the pain. I kept telling myself during contractions that it would peak then die down, then I'd have a minute to regroup. Except I didn't. The contractions were one after another with sometimes no more than 20 seconds between them. I could barely catch my breath. I sat on the birthing ball and clung to the pillow on my bed, telling myself over and over again that, even though it felt like my body was breaking in half, my body was actually doing what it was supposed to and if I would relax, my baby would be here soon. See, I told myself the right things. But I still wanted to die. (Not to be dramatic or anything, right?!) :)

That's when I caved. I told Brett to get the nurse and tell her I needed the epidural. I don't think he could have jumped up faster to call for her. He hated seeing me in pain. The nurse came in and, bless her heart, encouraged me to try a warm compress and counter pressure. It was cute, she was doing her job so well, but I didn't care about anything else. I needed real relief.

While we waited for the anesthesiologist (are you impressed that I spelled that correctly without spell check?!) she and Brett both did counter pressure on my back, which I had always heard brought some welcome relief. But no, I just couldn't have anyone touching me. I needed the juice! After what seemed like forever, an angel of the Lord appeared the anesthesiologist came into the room. The nurse explained to her my history with the spinal headache and the doc seemed to really know her stuff and felt confident she could help me.

As she began, every contraction I had, I would tell myself it was likely the last contraction I was going to feel. Relief was on it's way. It wouldn't be long. But no. It was awful. She had to stick me several times, during multiple contractions, and she kept telling me to sit up straight. I was sitting up straight and honestly keeping my composure as best as I could. After she'd set the epidural, she'd press on four spots on my back. Each time, there was one spot she would touch that I would just scream in pain over. She would ask, "Oh are you having a contraction?" and every time I'd respond, "NO, it's YOU!" (I later apologized.) After probably 25 minutes, she placed the epidural and I started to feel less breaking of bones in my back. I told her that, even though I was still feeling contractions, that it was gonna have to be good enough because I couldn't stand anyone else touching me.

I had to lie back very carefully as the Juice Doctor explained how she couldn't place the epi as far down as she should, because I had crooked vertebrae that likely caused the spinal headache last time. I was so grateful for her attention to detail and for her being so thorough, but I was mostly glad to be able to breathe in again. Within just minutes, she and my nurse left the room. She had just told Brett that if he wanted to eat lunch, now would be the time to run downstairs and grab something because in the next couple of hours I'd probably be pushing. So he headed off downstairs. Apparently I called my mom at this point to give her a quick update (I say apparently because I don't remember this at all, but she has the phone log to prove it) 

So, after that quick phone call, it happened. The baby was suddenly coming. I looked around at my empty room in a state of disbelief. I reached over to press my nurse call button when I realized the pager had fallen to the floor. Every minute or two, super intense pressure came over me and my body was pushing my sweet baby out. After what seemed like forever, Brett came back into the room and was greeted by my hysterical, "IT'S COMING OUT, GO GET SOMEBODY!" He called for the nurse (and quickly scarfed down his lunch) and the room got all crazy. It was 12:00. Brett guessed the baby would be here by 12:15, and I said there was no way, that Baby wouldn't be here until closer to 12:45.

My doctor came right in and it made me excited because, with Levi, I pushed for an hour before he showed up. I knew it was happening and would happen quickly. As they finished prepping the room, I kept yelling that baby was coming, and my doc and nurses kept saying in unison as if they hear this all the time, "Don't push!" It was insane. Before I knew it, pushing began. I'll spare you details, but here are a few key words: contractions, ring of fire , hysterical nonsense. However, 3 contractions later, our baby made it's debut with it's hand next to it's face and the cord wrapped all around. My doctor held my baby over me and said, "What is it, Mom?!" I sat up and looked and got to proudly announce, "It's a GIRL!"

Brett and I just beamed with pride as we marveled over this sweet baby girl. She had so much hair! She let out a tiny whimper at birth, and then laid on my chest completely silent and wide eyed and content. We did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin and nursed for an hour or so. Sometime during all of that, I looked up at Brett and said, "It's Caroline, right?" He quickly agreed, which was a huge deal! (We have always struggled coming to an agreement on names!) After a while, I lifted her blanket just to look at her sweet little body, and I noticed how pink and perfect she was. As I was looking at her tiny little feet, I noticed purple blotches on her leg. I asked the nurse right away, "Is this a blood clot?" The room grew silent as three nurses and my doctor rushed over and stared at her leg for a few seconds. Soon after, they agreed that it was just a birth mark (port wine stain) and that she was just fine.

My epidural was taken out shortly after she was born, and within the hour I was able to get up and walk without help. The tops of my legs were a little heavy, but nothing else was numb yet, it all happened so fast. From the time the pitocin began to the time she was born was 2 hours and 45 minutes! Such a whirlwind of a morning but completely wonderful and perfect. We spent the next couple of days in the hospital recovering well and resting. I praise God so much for our healthy baby girl, and for a much smoother recovery for me this time! I'm so glad Brett got to have a few days with us before school began, and that everything went so smoothly. God has His hand in every detail and I'm so blessed by His goodness!






Monday, July 27, 2015

Thirty Eight Weeks


  • How far along?: 38 weeks! (posting this a week late though!)
  • Baby is the size of a: I would guess about 6lbs?
  • The Bump: We are at max capacity here, people.
  • Symptoms: Contractions, exhausted
  • Food Cravings: Orange Juice and Donuts
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Nope!
  • Sleep: I'm trying to get good sleep, but I'm peeing about every hour on the hour, plus my hips are so sore, it's been difficult getting comfortable
  • What I miss: Talking without panting for breath
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On, but will probably come off soon, thanks to the heat!
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: I think so? But we'll wait to finalize when baby's here!
  • Movement: Baby's still pretty active
  • Maternity Clothes: You can usually see a bit of my belly peeking out of my shirt, and I only have about 1 or 2 pairs of shorts that fit. Enter: Brett's t shirts and shorts. Thankful to have such a burly, handsome husband!
  • Labor Signs: Nothing really, just contractions and lots of pressure, but not dilated or effaced.
  • Best Moment of the Week: Levi started saying "mama" (again after a year hiatus) so that's pretty much the cutest thing ever
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: I wanna meet this baby :)
  • Wednesday, July 1, 2015

    Thirty Five Weeks


  • How far along?: 35 weeks!
  • Baby is the size of a: I don't know fruit, but baby's likely about 18 inches long and shy of 5 1/2 lbs!
  • The Bump: Every week I'm convinced it won't get any bigger, and every week I'm astounded that it really did!
  • Symptoms: Acid reflux and crampy. Trying not to count down the weeks or days, but I'm certainly getting anxious and uncomfortable.
  • Food Cravings: Nothing really..WHAT? is that the first time I've said that in 8 months?!?!
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Nope!
  • Sleep: Decent sleep, interrupted by pee breaks and the need to roll over and get situated...again and again and again and...
  • What I miss: I'm just ready to be comfortable again. That said, this pregnancy really has flown by, so it's not like I have much to complain about! 
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: They're on the table...we will discuss it again when baby is here :)
  • Movement: Baby's still pretty active
  • Maternity Clothes: My belly hangs out of them :(
  • Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks, baby is still head down, I don't expect much more for at least 5 weeks, if not more!
  • Best Moment of the Week: Brett, Levi, and I swimming with my parents. Levi's loving the pool and becoming more and more brave! 
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: The 4th of July this weekend! It will mark the "Officially One Month Til I'm Due" date, we are planning on spending time with friends and family outside playing cards and grilling out, and my husband always turns into Mr. Stars and Stripes and acts ridiculous all day long. Yum, I love that man. I'm hoping Levi gets to see some fireworks and enjoy some sparklers for the first time :)
  • Thursday, June 11, 2015

    Happy 2nd Birthday Levi!

    My boy, you're two years old! As much as I can't believe it, I'm really excited for this age. Your personality continues to shine through and you're a joy to get to know more and more! When you turned one, I was glad for you but sad for me, because I felt like I just blinked and you grew up! But now that you're turning two, I'm not exactly sad, just AMAZED that you could possibly be becoming a big kid already!

    You bring joy to my heart and a smile to my face every single day. Whether it be your sweet kisses, how you play with your toys, or watching your face as you discover something new for the first time, you make me smile and I'm delighted to be your mom.



    I love the way you babble. You babble with such intensity and desire to be taken seriously. You burrow your brow and scrunch your nose as we try to figure out what you're trying to say. Not to imply you don't say any words. Your favorite word of choice is still "car." Everything is a car. But especially cars!! You love their steering wheels and the big tires and especially the cars with DVD players like Nana's! You also love talking about gui-TAR's and "gahngahngas" (bananas) and "dum" (drum)'s. You're finally saying "Da!" again when Daddy comes home, too, which totally makes his day.

    Speaking of when Daddy gets home, the first thing you usually do is run away from him with high hopes that he'll chase you. You surrender with ease because deep down you really just want Daddy to wrestle with you and tickle your belly. Oh, you're laugh, kid! It's so sincere and genuine. Brings a smile to everyone's face!


    Your favorite things to do consist of riding on the golf cart at Nana and Papa's house, as well as snuggle with Sophie and running cars up and down our arms and legs. Every morning as I unload the dishwasher, you bring your cars and sit your legs under the open door and run your cars back and forth on the door. But nothing makes you as happy as the freedom to RUN. You love to run all over our backyard, talking and laughing all the way. You get especially excited when we're somewhere with a wheelchair ramp. Up and down and up and down...shouting "GO!" every time you run downhill. It's really quite easy to keep you happy, so long as you have nothing holding you back :)


    You now have 14 teeth...your pearly whites just sparkle when you throw your head back laughing! You enjoy brushing your teeth, but not as much as you enjoy eating the toothpaste! You weigh 32lbs and continue growing into a strong, healthy boy! Now that we have a new van, you're able to climb into the car and up into your seat all by yourself! This will be so nice for your mama when your new baby brother or sister is born! Your daddy and I know you will be such a great big brother, once the initial shock sets in, of course :) 

    I've been reminded so much lately of my last few months being pregnant with you. The song, "Courageous" by Casting Crowns was on the radio a lot, and I would listen to the song and pray these words over your life. 
    "You were made to be courageous, you were made to lead the way.
    You could be the generation that finally breaks the chains...
    Let the pounding of your heart cry, 'I will serve the Lord!'
    The only way you'll ever stand is on your knees with lifted hands!
    Make us courageous! Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God."

    Sweet baby (yes, you'll always be my baby, no matter how big you get!), these words will continue to be the cry of my heart for your life. No matter what comes your way, may you become a man of courage with a heart that longs to serve Jesus and His people. May you lead others and bring them closer to Him, and may you be a significant reason the Kingdom of God continues to grow. Be kind, be humble, be obedient to Him. We love you as big as the world, kid!












    Wednesday, June 10, 2015

    Thirty Two Weeks





  • How far along?: 32 weeks...not much further to go!
  • Baby is the size of a: I think he/she is about 4lbs now, but it wouldn't surprise me if this baby was a tiny little one!
  • The Bump: I see little hands and feet bulge out of it about every night now...high fives will have to do until I get to kiss this sweet baby's face!
  • Symptoms: Heartburn like nobody's business. Exhausted. So grateful I can carry this baby but it definitely is hard work!
  • Food Cravings: Ice cold popsicles. It's hot!
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Nope!
  • Sleep: The struggle is real! I toss and turn and just when I'm about to fall asleep, baby wakes up and wants to play in my belly!
  • What I miss: Being able to breathe and talk at the same time.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: :)
  • Movement: This kid is fierce!
  • Maternity Clothes: I don't know how pregnant women get by without them.
  • Labor Signs: Braxton Hicks and baby is head down! Now it's just a matter of time!
  • Best Moment of the Week: Brett's done with school now, so we've been able to enjoy lots of family time! Whether it be swimming, working in the yard, or just eating together, it's been so wonderful spending time together!
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Spending time with friends this weekend! 
  • Friday, May 29, 2015

    Thirty Weeks!!




  • How far along?: 30 weeks (when did this happen!?)
  • Baby is the size of a: cucumber? aka Just shy of 16 inches long! Weighs in around 3lbs!
  • The Bump: Bump? More like a mountain. But makes for a great hill for Levi's trucks, apparently!
  • Symptoms: Just feeling huge! 
  • Food Cravings: I've reached the point where I have to eat a lot of small meals, otherwise I get indigestion and a little acid reflux. In fact the other night the pain got so bad, I started wondering if there's something possibly going on with my gallbladder!? Needless to say, stomach's a little squished these days!
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Nope!
  • Sleep: I still toss and turn, but I'm usually tired enough to fall back asleep right away
  • What I miss: Having energy! There's so much I want to do, especially with this nice weather, but I wear out quickly.
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: On
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: I think we've made progress!!
  • Movement: I have a little acrobat in my belly :)
  • Maternity Clothes: They're a saving grace, but...I don't know. I'm just not enjoying them like I did with my first pregnancy. Although recently I got a few maxi dresses and skirts and those have been wonderful!
  • Labor Signs: The never ending Braxton Hicks
  • Best Moment of the Week: We bought a mini van :) I can't believe we grew up so fast! I'll miss driving my sporty little car but I'm so happy with the van we chose and am excited to make new memories in it, driving around as a family of four.
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Brett's done with school this week! It will be so nice to have him home. Then this weekend, my sweet Levi turns 2!! I'm excited to celebrate with family and enjoy our weekend with him. He's such a trip these days.
  • Sunday, May 3, 2015

    Twenty Six Weeks




  • How far along?: 26 weeks...last week in the 2nd trimester!!
  • Baby is the size of a: about 14 inches long and weighs about 2lbs! That's why I can hardly breathe!
  • The Bump: I look like I swallowed a basketball
  • Symptoms: back and hip pain, braxton hicks, and dare I say, a little "on edge" ;)
  • Food Cravings: Popsicles, poptarts, and everything else that's edible. I can't stop, I won't stop!
  • Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: just the constant bending down to pick something up and standing back up that is required of a mom of a toddler. it's exhausting
  • Sleep: I have been going to bed shortly after I put Levi down, waking up when he wakes up, and napping when he naps. EXHAUSTED.
  • What I miss: sleeping on my belly
  • Weddings Rings On or Off: on
  • Any Names Picked Out Yet: Really haven't even talked about it much! We've been so busy!
  • Movement: Pretty active! In the last week my belly has started going crazy! It's my favorite part of pregnancy!
  • Maternity Clothes: Yes. But I tell ya, I don't know if it's the clothes or just the stage of life with Levi, but nothing seems to fit well, and everything is irritating! (I told you I've been on edge!)
  • Labor Signs: Just Braxton Hicks
  • Best Moment of the Week: You mean month?? ha Yes I've been a bit M.I.A. with Levi having bronchitis and me being sick. But anyway, I'd say getting back in the groove has been so good. This year has been insane and emotional with losing Brett's mom and all that goes with losing a loved one...It's nice that the weather is improving and we've been able to find some delight in our new normal
  • What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Going to the zoo this week to kick off the season :) And having Brett home for the summer! Just 5 more weeks! It can't come soon enough!