Four Months
Caroline, you are four whole months old and becoming more and more delightful each day! Other than the dreaded four month sleep regression that has hit, you are still the easiest baby! You have started to giggle more and more and you're really starting to love tummy time ("starting to" is key here!) No one makes you smile like your big brother! We had such a fun Thanksgiving with you. I spent the day snuggling you in my arms and kissing your cheeks, when last Thanksgiving I was only beaming at the sight of two pink lines on a pregnancy test. One whole year of knowing you exist, wondering who you are, and now learning all about who you are and falling more in love with you with every passing day. Needless to say, we had so much to be thankful for!! We love you Miss Ro, and continue to pray that you would know and embrace God's great love for you some day soon!
Two and a half years ago, I met my sweet baby boy for the first time. The last couple of years have been filled with more joy than I thought possible. I'm amazed at how much Levi has grown up in the last 6 months! Every new stage is always my favorite, but right now, where he's at, it's my favorite!
By far the most significant change in the last couple of months has been Levi's speech. He started speech therapy right after he turned 2, and it's been a game changer. While some of it I'm sure is coincidence, just because most kids start talking more around this age, I'm convinced the therapy has played a major role in his development. When Levi turned 2, he would basically just say "car" ALL. THE. TIME. He knew how to say "go" and would occasionally (and by that, I mean, maybe a total of five times) repeat after us. But that was as far as his speech had gone. Within the first month of therapy, Levi started saying "Dada" and "Mama," as well as making animal sounds for a few different animals.
And it just snowballed from there. Before we knew it, Levi was doing almost every animal sound, making car noises when playing with his cars, and identifying the different types of cars (ko-kuk for tow truck, mint kuk for cement truck, choo chain for choo choo train, etc). He has come up with the cutest nickname for his new little sister, and Ro-Ro has really stuck!! My favorite thing he says of course is, "I love you, Mom." Oh for Pete's sake! Recently, Levi has begun using simple sentences (I watch Airplane, Is Mama back?) and Brett's favorite, "Go Irish!" It's been insanely fun having conversations with my sweet boy, and hearing his take on the world around him.
Levi became a big brother four months ago. He has been phenomenal! I really can't believe it, still! From the day we brought Caroline home, he has been nothing but kind and considerate of her, and has recently even enjoyed laying down on the floor with her as they babble back and forth to one another. I'm so proud of how well he has not only transitioned but has risen to the occasion and surpassed our expectations! It's been awesome getting to know Levi in this new role of Big Brother, and I'm blessed to see his heart be so compassionate towards his sister.
The older he gets, the funnier he becomes. Levi's sense of humor is fantastic! In the midst of his laughter, he often stops what he's doing and gives us a kiss or a hug. He still loves being chased and tickled. And he still loves chasing and tickling the dog...it's so cute. Levi has the most wonderful cousins on both sides of his family and he gets so excited when he gets to play with them! He and his cousins on my side of the family each smack their own lips together to create a popping noise, and they do this back and forth to each other and just laugh and laugh. Levi, of course, is generally the ring leader in all of their shenanigans. Cracks us up.
Levi has started to become more embarrassed when he gets in trouble, or even if he gets corrected slightly. He sticks his bottom lip out and puts his chin to his chest while burrowing his brows. Then he lets out a little sigh. I've learned that sometimes he just needs to be reminded that we love him and that we're proud of him, but that what he was doing that the time wasn't ok. That reassurances seems to help him. It's like he doesn't want to disappoint us, but he also doesn't want to be told what to do. This should be a fun combination in the future! :/
We pray more and more each day that God would continue working in his heart. Our greatest desire for our son is that he would grow up and fall in love with Jesus. We pray that he would chose to spend his life serving God and others with deep compassion and integrity. That he would be filled with joy and the strength to become more like Jesus, even when it's difficult. We pray that Levi may see his sin for what it is, and become all the more grateful for God's gift of His Only Son. May he know that the love of Jesus is always the answer and pursue Him with great determination!
We love you, Levi!!
Three Months
Miss Rosie-Ro, you are just the sweetest thing. You love laying on the floor and talking to us with your sweet "oooh's" and "iiiiii's" and occasional giggles. The moment we make eye contact, your face lights up and you start talking. I'm hoping you stay that way forever, telling Mama your secrets! You're growing so fast, yet remain a petite little lady. My favorite new thing you do is play with your hair. You keep one arm up and twirl your hair in your fingers. It's the sweetest. We love you, sweet girl, and thank God every day for the chance to know you and watch you grow into the beautiful woman God has called you to be. He loves you even more than we do, and we pray that one day, you'll know His love personally and chose to follow Him! We love you, Caroline!
I've had every intention of keeping up with this blog better than I have lately, mainly because I want to write details about life now that I'll likely forget later. However, duty calls and it turns out this motherhood gig gives you joy out the wazoo, but takes away every last ounce of free time. :) So here's a quick recap of the last three months!
Bringing Caroline (or Ro as she's so lovingly referred to around here) home has been such an amazing experience. For starters, she's just a really good baby. I know a lot of people say that about their babies, but Ro's exceptionally good. In the last three months, I'd venture to say she's cried MAYBE a total of 2 hours. Maybe. She's happy and content and smiley and just a bundle of love. Her laid back, easy going personality has made the transition from one kid to two such a breeze. Not that I haven't had my share of exhaustion and feeling like I could very well lose my mind, but those moments have been very few and far between.
On top of all of that, my sweet Levi has really stepped up and grown into an incredible big brother. You guys, I was really worried about this. And not in the way that every parent worries about how a new sibling will effect their current children. I'm talking, this kid, who once clenched his fists and screamed at even just the sight of a baby, is now sweet and, dare I say, GENTLE with sweet Ro. He calls her Ro Ro and has been so great about all my time holding her and loving on her. If he wants my attention during those times, he just joins in on the fun and snuggles with the both of us. For the most part, he just ignores her, which is better than having him smother her with love, in my opinion. But when he pays attention to her, he's content with sitting beside her and showing her his cars. We spent a lot of time this summer talking to him about how we'll be bringing our baby home and what to expect, but you just never know how much a two year old (who wasn't talking much at the time) is going to understand. His transition to now having a sibling has been seamless, I almost feel guilty about it.
By far the hardest part of having two kids is trying to go somewhere. It never fails, I'll get them both dressed and ready to walk out the door when somebody suddenly poops. Once bottoms are wiped and shoes are back on, I can get them loaded up pretty quickly, but then I have to make sure the diaper bag is well stocked, including diapers and wipes, extra clothes for Ro, bib, burp rag, blanket, paci, nursing cover, toys for Levi (depending on where we're going), extra snack, possible cup of milk, the list goes on. And I've always prided myself on being a light packer. But with kids, especially two that are in different stages of life, there's just. so. much. stuff.
Without a doubt, by the time the kids are loaded, their diaper bag is packed and loaded, and I grab my purse, cell phone, and sunglasses, I sit in the car and praise Jesus for deodorant and windows to crack for fresh air because I'm usually sweating like none other. After I praise Him for those things, I look in the backseat and praise Him for the precious boy who's usually talking about his "Choo Choo's" and love of "kuks" (trucks, for those of you who don't speak Levi), and there's a beautiful little girl batting at her toys and I just feel so fortunate that I get to be their mama. All the sweat and chaos is so, so worth it.
I seem to be rambling. That's another thing I do these days. My brain sometimes feels broken so my thoughts come in no particular order. Bare with me.
Football. That's what life has been since Ro's come into this world. I've had the best help between my parents and wonderful friends I've gotten to know through Brett's job, and because of them I've been able to take the kids to every single game of Brett's this year, other than the very first scrimmage when Caroline was one week old. It was chaotic and hilarious and exhausting all the while, but I LOVE showing the kids how important it is to be a part of each other's lives and how we support each other and cheer each other on. They have an AWESOME dad who was born to coach. As they get older I want them to understand what it is to be a family and be there for one another, so I figured we should start at a mere two weeks old! It's so fun being a football wife and a football family, and my kids were rock stars throughout the season. The games and team dinners went MUCH smoother than I expected with two kids, for sure.
God really answered all of my prayers concerning the first couple of months with two kids, and I owe it all to Him. He's been my strength and my rest throughout it all. And He's blessed me with Levi, my low maintenance, entertains himself, outgoing boy who is full of life and energy, as well as now our beautiful baby girl who is just happy to be along for the ride and has a smile so radiant with joy. She's just been an awesome addition to our family, and I'm excited to watch her personality to continue to unfold, as well as watch her and Levi become friends over time. I'm so, so glad for them both and excited to see God work in their lives in the years to come!
Two Months
Sweet Ro, you're two months old! You're quickly moving out of the newborn stage and into the infant stage! You started sleeping through the night right at 8 weeks old, sleeping from about 10pm until 7:00am. You still sleep quite a bit during the day, but you're wake times are growing longer all the time! Now at 11.8lbs, you smile all the time and have started to coo to us! We are so grateful for your sweet demeanor and that God saw fit to place you in our family. You melt our hearts daily and we continue to pray that God would do a mighty work in your sweet heart. We want you to grow to know how much Jesus loves you and we want you to experience His grace and redemption like we have! We are excited to continue to watch you grow and become the beautiful girl God created you to be! So much love, sweet sister.
One Month!
Wow. I really just blinked and here we are. My baby girl is one month old! Oh, sweet Caroline, you really are just perfectly sweet. We think you have cried MAYBE a total of 50 minutes this whole last month. You're just happy and content, and when you are upset, you have the sweetest little whimper. You're sleeping so well at night for your mama, sleeping until 3:30 or 4, then going right back to sleep until 7 or 8! It's amazing. Weighing in at nearly 11lbs, you're already growing out of your newborn clothes and getting some sweet little rolls on your arms and legs! You love standing on our laps and love facing out and looking around. The only time you're unhappy is when you're in your car seat. Your snuggles and smiles are the best things ever and we just love you to pieces!
A couple of weeks have passed and I still haven't had the chance to sit and write down Caroline's birth story. Something about being the second born and Mama slacking...either way I still love her so much and I want to remember every detail of her birth day. So here it goes...
Forty weeks had come and gone, just like I knew it would. I had started feeling anxious about labor starting, because I knew summer was almost over and Brett's school year/football season would be in full force in no time. There was no chance he'd miss the birth, really. I just really wanted him to have a few days home with us to get to know our baby and to help me as I recovered, and I knew that window of time was fleeting. I continued to pray that she would come on her own, and that regardless, God would fill us with peace in knowing that our baby was in His hands and that he/she would come at the perfect time.
Backing up for a minute. At 39 weeks, I had gone to my doctor for my weekly check up. At that time, I was barely 1cm dilated and 0% effaced. Baby sounded great, and my doctor told me that if I was induced at that time (which I didn't want to be) that it likely would be unsuccessful because my body was showing no signs of being ready.
And back to 40 weeks. Going in for my appointment, I knew my doctor would mention induction because he doesn't like to let his patients go past 41 weeks, so he would make mention of it and I could do what I wanted with it, Again, I was nervous about getting induced because of my fear of a repeat spinal headache from the epidural. My goal was to go without the epidural so that the chance of a spinal headache would not exist, in hopes for a much better and faster recovery. I knew that entering pitocin into the mix would make an epidural-free labor much more difficult.
Anyway, at my 40 week appointment, my doctor informed me that I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. I was encouraged by my body's progress and a little more open to the idea of being induced, having high hopes of it being successful. With Levi, I went from 1cm to 10cm in just 5 hours, so I also had hopes of this labor being even faster. So after talking to my doctor, we decided that a couple of nights later, I would go in to be induced if I hadn't gone into labor on my own yet. That would still give me a chance to start labor on my own, but also give Brett a chance to have time with us before the craziness of fall began.
On a Wednesday night, I went in to begin cervadil. That day I had been having lots of signs that labor was near, including a few random stronger contractions (side-note: from this side of labor, I laugh at my use of the word "stronger.") I felt confident that the induction would go well. That night Brett and I spent the evening watching Big Bang Theory and eating a bunch of food. The calm before the storm.
Thursday morning (our 4 year anniversary), we were about to begin pitocin. I made it to 3cm and was more effaced, so while I was waiting for them to begin the pit, I took a hot shower and tried to ease the tension in my back during contractions. I had heard such horrible things about back labor and had a feeling throughout the whole pregnancy that I would have back labor, due to how baby was positioned. While in the shower, it started to hit me that back labor had begun and I had a bit of anxiety. When I got out, I started my playlist on my iPad and prayed throughout the worship songs that God would just give me peace and be my strength. And then began the pit at 9:30am.
The nurse kept asking about how I was managing my pain. I remember thinking that she seemed concerned then pleasantly surprised that I was doing ok. I felt like maybe I had been overly worried about the intensity of labor. HA! After about an hour, things started getting more intense. I had reached 5 cm and had my water break. My water was clear this time, which was a huge answer to prayer. After that, it seemed all hell broke lose.
I started throwing up from the pain. I kept telling myself during contractions that it would peak then die down, then I'd have a minute to regroup. Except I didn't. The contractions were one after another with sometimes no more than 20 seconds between them. I could barely catch my breath. I sat on the birthing ball and clung to the pillow on my bed, telling myself over and over again that, even though it felt like my body was breaking in half, my body was actually doing what it was supposed to and if I would relax, my baby would be here soon. See, I told myself the right things. But I still wanted to die. (Not to be dramatic or anything, right?!) :)
That's when I caved. I told Brett to get the nurse and tell her I needed the epidural. I don't think he could have jumped up faster to call for her. He hated seeing me in pain. The nurse came in and, bless her heart, encouraged me to try a warm compress and counter pressure. It was cute, she was doing her job so well, but I didn't care about anything else. I needed real relief.
While we waited for the anesthesiologist (are you impressed that I spelled that correctly without spell check?!) she and Brett both did counter pressure on my back, which I had always heard brought some welcome relief. But no, I just couldn't have anyone touching me. I needed the juice! After what seemed like forever, an angel of the Lord appeared the anesthesiologist came into the room. The nurse explained to her my history with the spinal headache and the doc seemed to really know her stuff and felt confident she could help me.
As she began, every contraction I had, I would tell myself it was likely the last contraction I was going to feel. Relief was on it's way. It wouldn't be long. But no. It was awful. She had to stick me several times, during multiple contractions, and she kept telling me to sit up straight. I was sitting up straight and honestly keeping my composure as best as I could. After she'd set the epidural, she'd press on four spots on my back. Each time, there was one spot she would touch that I would just scream in pain over. She would ask, "Oh are you having a contraction?" and every time I'd respond, "NO, it's YOU!" (I later apologized.) After probably 25 minutes, she placed the epidural and I started to feel less breaking of bones in my back. I told her that, even though I was still feeling contractions, that it was gonna have to be good enough because I couldn't stand anyone else touching me.
I had to lie back very carefully as the Juice Doctor explained how she couldn't place the epi as far down as she should, because I had crooked vertebrae that likely caused the spinal headache last time. I was so grateful for her attention to detail and for her being so thorough, but I was mostly glad to be able to breathe in again. Within just minutes, she and my nurse left the room. She had just told Brett that if he wanted to eat lunch, now would be the time to run downstairs and grab something because in the next couple of hours I'd probably be pushing. So he headed off downstairs. Apparently I called my mom at this point to give her a quick update (I say apparently because I don't remember this at all, but she has the phone log to prove it)
So, after that quick phone call, it happened. The baby was suddenly coming. I looked around at my empty room in a state of disbelief. I reached over to press my nurse call button when I realized the pager had fallen to the floor. Every minute or two, super intense pressure came over me and my body was pushing my sweet baby out. After what seemed like forever, Brett came back into the room and was greeted by my hysterical, "IT'S COMING OUT, GO GET SOMEBODY!" He called for the nurse (and quickly scarfed down his lunch) and the room got all crazy. It was 12:00. Brett guessed the baby would be here by 12:15, and I said there was no way, that Baby wouldn't be here until closer to 12:45.
My doctor came right in and it made me excited because, with Levi, I pushed for an hour before he showed up. I knew it was happening and would happen quickly. As they finished prepping the room, I kept yelling that baby was coming, and my doc and nurses kept saying in unison as if they hear this all the time, "Don't push!" It was insane. Before I knew it, pushing began. I'll spare you details, but here are a few key words: contractions, ring of fire , hysterical nonsense. However, 3 contractions later, our baby made it's debut with it's hand next to it's face and the cord wrapped all around. My doctor held my baby over me and said, "What is it, Mom?!" I sat up and looked and got to proudly announce, "It's a GIRL!"
Brett and I just beamed with pride as we marveled over this sweet baby girl. She had so much hair! She let out a tiny whimper at birth, and then laid on my chest completely silent and wide eyed and content. We did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin and nursed for an hour or so. Sometime during all of that, I looked up at Brett and said, "It's Caroline, right?" He quickly agreed, which was a huge deal! (We have always struggled coming to an agreement on names!) After a while, I lifted her blanket just to look at her sweet little body, and I noticed how pink and perfect she was. As I was looking at her tiny little feet, I noticed purple blotches on her leg. I asked the nurse right away, "Is this a blood clot?" The room grew silent as three nurses and my doctor rushed over and stared at her leg for a few seconds. Soon after, they agreed that it was just a birth mark (port wine stain) and that she was just fine.
My epidural was taken out shortly after she was born, and within the hour I was able to get up and walk without help. The tops of my legs were a little heavy, but nothing else was numb yet, it all happened so fast. From the time the pitocin began to the time she was born was 2 hours and 45 minutes! Such a whirlwind of a morning but completely wonderful and perfect. We spent the next couple of days in the hospital recovering well and resting. I praise God so much for our healthy baby girl, and for a much smoother recovery for me this time! I'm so glad Brett got to have a few days with us before school began, and that everything went so smoothly. God has His hand in every detail and I'm so blessed by His goodness!
