Caroline: Seven Months

Seven Months

Oh Sweet Ro, seven months old! You are so sad you can't quite crawl yet, but you find your way around by rolling in every direction and even scooting while sitting up! You've become our little dancing queen, bopping your head around to the beat of any music or simply just rhythm you hear. You just want to move, which makes it so fun to play with you and so impossible to snuggle you! My mama heart is a little sad as you become more and more fidgety when rocked at night because you just want to lay down and fall asleep on your own! But I know it's a good thing that you're growing and becoming a little more independent all the time! You, my girl, have so much to say and Levi is fascinated by you; he loves to join in on the jibber jabber! You're eating much better this month and seem to really like apples and Puffs! At just 16.2 lbs you're still our tiny little lady, but you love big and your smile is the sweetest thing. We love you girl!

Caroline: Six Months

Six Months

My Roey Girl! I have been blessed with six whole months of knowing you, snuggling you, nursing, kissing, loving you. I can't thank God enough! You have the sweetest giggle, it's just music to our ears! You are now sitting up on your own so well and rolling all over the place. You even came close to rolling off our bed the other night! You want to move around on the floor so badly but haven't quite figured out how to get up on all fours yet. Your favorite toys are Violet, your piano, and your toes! You're starting to try more solid foods, but you continue to just spit the food out of your mouth. I'm just glad you're eager to try! You still have the most pleasant personality, so content and so easily amused. You are especially silly when your big brother plays peek-a-boo with you! You are the perfect addition to our family and your daddy and I praise God for you!

Caroline: 5 Months

Five Months

Baby girl, you are getting so big!! Now at 15lbs, you are in the 50% for weight and 90% for height! That means you're sporting 9 month onesies with 3 month pants :) As challenging as it can be finding clothes for you, it's so much stinkin' fun. I know you'll roll your eyes at all the bows and leggings and bandanna bibs I put you in all the time some day, but trust me when I say you were one stylin' little lady! You are such a joy, Caroline! The most easy going girl, you are perfectly content laying on the floor reaching for your toes. You have started rolling over from your belly to your back in the last month or so, and are so close to rolling back to belly. Yet somehow you manage to scoot far away from wherever I put you down. We can't decide yet if you're going to have a laid back personality forever or if some day you'll surprise us and give us a run for our money. Either way, we love you to the moon and back and praise God for you and your sweet spirit!

The Dirt on my Boots

Wrapping up 2015 was so much more complex and even time consuming than wrapping up presents for the kids just weeks before for Christmas. This past year was very heavy, to say the least. Big, illimitable emotions every where we turned. We said goodbye to my mother in law far too soon, then welcomed a new baby girl just 5 months later. Profound grief alongside profound joy.

I found myself standing outside on a cold March morning, boots sinking in the once snow covered ground, as I watched my husband and his family lay his mom to rest. Holding my restless son's pudgy hand by my side and feeling our new baby stretch in my belly, I tried to wrap my mind around the vigor in life and the stillness in death. We celebrated the end of her earthly struggle, we knew the Battle was Won, yet our hearts ached mightily. At some point God gave us the courage, the grace, to drive away from her grave. That's when "new normal" began.

Seasons came and went and just when I thought I was finding my way, winter came and I pulled my black boots out of the back of the closet. Chills covered my spine as I discovered dried mud on the heels of my shoes. I froze. The mud my shoes once sank in at her grave site was now dirt clinging to my shoes. It was such a great metaphor for me. The mud represented the heavy, yucky grief, and the dirt was what remained. Grief isn't quite as suffocating for me, for us, as it once was. Our God continues to shower us with grace and guides our steps as we wade into new territory, a life without Brett's mom. But it's there. It has stained our shoes. Little by little it will chip off, but a shadow of earth will remain. And in some funny way, I'm OK with that.

Our good, good Father knows all things long before we do, and I think that's why He chose to give us Caroline when He did. The blessing of a precious baby girl who shares her grandma's namesake has put smiles on faces once soaked with tears. Our broken hearts are being mended, and the heavy cloud of sorrow is lifting. I really am excited for what is to come, despite the expected tough days ahead. We are living Proverbs 14:13, "Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief." Thanks to God's great grace, unwavering hope, and indescribable joy, we're able to smile and laugh and enjoy life in this world with dirt on our boots.

Caroline: 4 Months

Four Months

Caroline, you are four whole months old and becoming more and more delightful each day! Other than the dreaded four month sleep regression that has hit, you are still the easiest baby! You have started to giggle more and more and you're really starting to love tummy time ("starting to" is key here!) No one makes you smile like your big brother! We had such a fun Thanksgiving with you. I spent the day snuggling you in my arms and kissing your cheeks, when last Thanksgiving I was only beaming at the sight of two pink lines on a pregnancy test. One whole year of knowing you exist, wondering who you are, and now learning all about who you are and falling more in love with you with every passing day. Needless to say, we had so much to be thankful for!! We love you Miss Ro, and continue to pray that you would know and embrace God's great love for you some day soon!

Levi: 2 1/2 Years

Two and a half years ago, I met my sweet baby boy for the first time. The last couple of years have been filled with more joy than I thought possible. I'm amazed at how much Levi has grown up in the last 6 months! Every new stage is always my favorite, but right now, where he's at, it's my favorite!

By far the most significant change in the last couple of months has been Levi's speech. He started speech therapy right after he turned 2, and it's been a game changer. While some of it I'm sure is coincidence, just because most kids start talking more around this age, I'm convinced the therapy has played a major role in his development. When Levi turned 2, he would basically just say "car" ALL. THE. TIME. He knew how to say "go" and would occasionally (and by that, I mean, maybe a total of five times) repeat after us. But that was as far as his speech had gone. Within the first month of therapy, Levi started saying "Dada" and "Mama," as well as making animal sounds for a few different animals.

And it just snowballed from there. Before we knew it, Levi was doing almost every animal sound, making car noises when playing with his cars, and identifying the different types of cars (ko-kuk for tow truck, mint kuk for cement truck, choo chain for choo choo train, etc). He has come up with the cutest nickname for his new little sister, and Ro-Ro has really stuck!! My favorite thing he says of course is, "I love you, Mom." Oh for Pete's sake! Recently, Levi has begun using simple sentences (I watch Airplane, Is Mama back?) and Brett's favorite, "Go Irish!" It's been insanely fun having conversations with my sweet boy, and hearing his take on the world around him. 

Levi became a big brother four months ago. He has been phenomenal! I really can't believe it, still! From the day we brought Caroline home, he has been nothing but kind and considerate of her, and has recently even enjoyed laying down on the floor with her as they babble back and forth to one another. I'm so proud of how well he has not only transitioned but has risen to the occasion and surpassed our expectations! It's been awesome getting to know Levi in this new role of Big Brother, and I'm blessed to see his heart be so compassionate towards his sister. 

The older he gets, the funnier he becomes. Levi's sense of humor is fantastic! In the midst of his laughter, he often stops what he's doing and gives us a kiss or a hug. He still loves being chased and tickled. And he still loves chasing and tickling the dog...it's so cute. Levi has the most wonderful cousins on both sides of his family and he gets so excited when he gets to play with them! He and his cousins on my side of the family each smack their own lips together to create a popping noise, and they do this back and forth to each other and just laugh and laugh. Levi, of course, is generally the ring leader in all of their shenanigans. Cracks us up.

Levi has started to become more embarrassed when he gets in trouble, or even if he gets corrected slightly. He sticks his bottom lip out and puts his chin to his chest while burrowing his brows. Then he lets out a little sigh. I've learned that sometimes he just needs to be reminded that we love him and that we're proud of him, but that what he was doing that the time wasn't ok. That reassurances seems to help him. It's like he doesn't want to disappoint us, but he also doesn't want to be told what to do. This should be a fun combination in the future! :/

We pray more and more each day that God would continue working in his heart. Our greatest desire for our son is that he would grow up and fall in love with Jesus. We pray that he would chose to spend his life serving God and others with deep compassion and integrity. That he would be filled with joy and the strength to become more like Jesus, even when it's difficult. We pray that Levi may see his sin for what it is, and become all the more grateful for God's gift of His Only Son. May he know that the love of Jesus is always the answer and pursue Him with great determination! 

We love you, Levi!!

Caroline: Three Months

Three Months

Miss Rosie-Ro, you are just the sweetest thing. You love laying on the floor and talking to us with your sweet "oooh's" and "iiiiii's" and occasional giggles. The moment we make eye contact, your face lights up and you start talking. I'm hoping you stay that way forever, telling Mama your secrets! You're growing so fast, yet remain a petite little lady. My favorite new thing you do is play with your hair. You keep one arm up and twirl your hair in your fingers. It's the sweetest. We love you, sweet girl, and thank God every day for the chance to know you and watch you grow into the beautiful woman God has called you to be. He loves you even more than we do, and we pray that one day, you'll know His love personally and chose to follow Him! We love you, Caroline!