Wednesday, December 5, 2012

As Long as it's Healthy...

  The days are dwindling down and our time to discover the gender of Baby Fox is coming soon. We are so eager and anxious to find out! In the beginning, I swore it was a boy. Then I was convinced it was a girl. Now I'm completely confused and pretty sure I'll be surprised either way! Some people have their guesses, whether it be by how I'm "carrying" (which still makes me laugh...can you tell how I'm carrying so early in the pregnancy?), or by what our siblings have had, and so on. It's fun to hear the thoughts of all of those that will be so involved in this little one's life.

  Of course people ask me if I have a preference. With this being my first baby, they usually then nod their head in understanding and say, "You probably don't care since this is your first!" And they're right. Bring me blue and dirt and Tonka trucks, and I'll be a happy lady. Bring me hair bows and leggings and ruffles, and I'll be a proud mama. I pray this attitude won't waver in the years to come with baby number two, three, maybe even four and five if I can talk Papa Fox into it :) Not that anything is wrong with wanting "one of each," but in the last couple of years I've learned more and more about how fragile each little life is and how the important thing is not the sex of the child, but the heart and life of the child.

  Usually after we discuss this, I hear the popular phrase, "Well as long as the baby is healthy!" Don't get me wrong, I know what this means, I get their point. it wrong that I've come to hate this sentence?? Of course I pray God would bless us with a healthy baby. I will be looking for all ten fingers and all ten toes and, oh how I LONG to hear that first cry! I get it. But I wrestle with the fact that unhealthy babies are born every day. And you know what? Their lives matter too. I have been blessed to know babies born with cerebral palsy, downs syndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, spina bifida, a hole in their heart, club foot, etc. Their lives serve such a beautiful purpose and it's an honor to watch them grow and thrive and love life.

  Sadly enough, I even know babies that never got to go home with their parents because they were unhealthy. It brings tears to my eyes to recall how painful, confusing...just devastating the news was. Unfair? Yes. But they mattered and they left a big impression on my heart. Obviously I do not want to have to go through this. No one in their right mind would sign up for a child they have to give up so soon. However, if that was God's plan for this little one's life, I would STILL, with arms high and heart abandoned, gladly receive this sweet gift and trust that God's grace is in plenty!

  The point of this rambling is to say that yes, I will continue to pray for a healthy baby. But no, I will not be using that phrase "as long as it's healthy" because that's just not how I feel. Whether this baby comes out perfectly healthy or with needs requiring special attention, this baby is ours and our hearts will overflow with love and pride.

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